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Thursday, November 04, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010 My World's Crumbling Down
My World's Crumbling Down  My today ? Well , it sucks . So was yesterday . I don't know what's happening to me anymore . I'm not being myself . I'm not me . I'm living for the sake of another . I don't exist anymore . Yesterday , well , went back school to check scripts . Gave my friends their last gift before we'd even meet again . I will definitely miss them . Very much , and the fun we ever had together . Now its all only left with memories . Baby came to pick me . We went McDonald's for breakfast then went Bishan cause wanna repair my phone . But was too early so went to meet Edwin first . Got to B's house to play scrabble . He showed me his Pandas which was hanging on the tree outside . Super cute ! Then B kept playing with his new bought sandbag don't want care me le . Whatever i do also don't care . Then i wrote on his white board in chinese , "you sandbag jiu bu yao guan wo le :(" . Hahaha after he saw it , he apologise to me with a kiss ^^ Yay ! DAMN YOU FREAKING SANDBAG . EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE SPORTS BRAND , ADIDAS , BUT WHATEVER MAN . YOU CAN'T WIN ME . HA . I'LL USE A KITCHEN KNIFE TO SLASH YOU IF I HAVE TO . But ... Baby will be sad ... :( Fine i won't . Went Kpool after that . Was super fun lor ! We like , keep trashing each other . Hahaha . Played singles then played team :) Then went to have lunch at SumoHouse . After we ate i don't know wtf was wrong with me . I think Baby talked to me but i didn't reply . Then after like a 10 min walk to the bus stop . I asked him what's wrong , and he said he thought i don't wanna talk to him , so why not make it this way , i'm always like that what . Then i felt super sad . I don't know what's wrong with me . Felt super hurt . We stood like , 6 feets away . Then i have no idea why but my right hand just got up to my left and started scratching it . I didn't feel a thing . Maybe because the hurt i felt in me was deeper than the scratching . My left arm started to have marks , but i didn't care . Cause i was trying to hold back my tears . Then the bus came . Went up , sat down , and that's when it started .  I started crying while facing the window cause i didn't want B to see me . I accidentally made that crying sound then he heard me . He started pulling me back but i didn't want him to see me that way and he forced me to look at him . He asked me what's wrong but without even answering him , i just cried on his shoulders . That pain i was having inside me was really weird . It's like , i didn't want things to happen and turn out this way . It's like , there's someone else living in me . And whenever , whatever that person wants to do , it'll just affect me suddenly . When i'm with Jet , you'll see like one minute i can be very happy chatting with him then suddenly my face will suddenly change and i'll have a bad mood . I don't even know if someone is talking to me . Sometimes i get really frustrated over this "person" and i'd just wanna end my life . Anyway i can , to get this person out . Ergh . So far , i know banging my head on the wall , drowning myself and slapping my damn face won't work . Wtv ~ FML . I apologised to B . He understood how i felt . Then he saw my arm . Omg . I freaked out . I didn't even know i scratched until so bad . Then he started rubbing it hard . I'm sorry baby ... didn't mean to do it . I didn't feel a thing so don't worry bout the pain . It wasn't pain at all . He told me this on his blog and in the bus , "BABY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN I WILL NOT IGNORE U I WILL ASK U WAT HAPPEN.I WAN U TO KNOW NO MATTER WHAT U WONT BE ALONE U HAVE ME BESIDE U ALL THE WAY:)BABY I LOVE U:)" Awesome ~ I cried even more cause i felt really touched . Hahaha . Baby got shocked . Hehe . Went to fix my phone . Saw the cup of drink that we left on the seat earlier on when we went Bishan in the morning . Hehheh . Then took cab down to Ion cause they were going for Job Interview . Kept tickling baby in the cab . We were so noisy behind lah . Edwin was like thinking , "Wtf i'm dead bored here ... someone entertain me ." Hahaha . We strolled through Ion , walked pass Wisma Atria , panted pass Taka , complained through 313 and finally(!) reached CentrePoint(wtf) . Best thing was , we reached there , and found out that there wasn't a shop called OG . Great man . So we decided to walk around then go back AMK . Hired a cab and the uncle was really nice . He talked to us about the stare incident in Pasir Ris . Bout that 19 yr-old guy . Sad . Haiz ... Went back B's house and rest . After that went home . Quarelled with mum cause of my damn ass attitude again . Seriously i hate my life . I hate that person living in me . She slammed the door fucking hard . Then dad came in and continued scolding . FIRST TIME . He said , "I can treat you the way you are treating us now you know . Don't make me hit you !" Gradually , and obviously , i cried myself to sleep . Scratched my right arm with my left nails . Hahaha . Powerful :) But no marks there when i woke up . Good way of destroying my white blood cells . Hahaha did i mentioned i have LEUKEMIA ? I'm dying soon ^^ Nahhh ~ No way . Today was satisfactory-border-line . Hahaha . Band , just had to listen to Mr Ng's scoldings cause a lot of people leaving for holiday at crucial periods and all never sign leave form . Haiz . Glad i'm not going anywhere . Baby went for band as well . Mr Ng apologised to them twice sia ! Cause they came back and had to do ... nothing . Feel so bad for Mr Ng . As in really lah ! Like , it's so unfair to those that has been working hard . After band , went to Band World with B and Christine . Before that Kelly and Edwyn kept bullying me lor ! Idiot man .. Took turns to carry Christine's instrument . Board train to Jurong East , walked to IMM and bought butterflies to eat :P HAHAHA . After sending for repair , we went toilet and it was super creepy lah . Christine went to off the lights . Damn her . Scared my soul out from my body sia . We forced baby to eat . Hahaha cause he don't wanna waste money . Then took train back to AMK . Guess what happened in the train ? Cause we were squeezed to the outside of the train already right at the door then when the door was about to close one Indian man just came and squeeze in without bothering whether got space a not then Baby knocked into a middle-aged working man standing behind him . When the train continued moving for about 3 mins suddenly heard someone saying , "Eh , can don't push a not ?" I turn around i saw that middle-aged UNCLE talking to Jet . B was freaking angry cause i know he hate crowded places and somemore it was really squeezy . His fist was clenched real tight . He scolded back at that man saying , "I where got push ? Very crowded and squeezy already right ? I where got the space to push ? You also pushing me right ?!" Omg . My heart almost fell out . Christine started pulling my sleeves cause we were both scared . If something happen to him , we'll be the ones left . Then i tried stopping them but it just continued . "Rubbish , i where got push ? Is you push first okay ?" that stupid old man shouted with saliva spitting everywhere onto my dearest baby's face . HMPH ! I hate that rhino . He really looked like one . Then Baby said , "You got evidence ? You go find evidence i push you lah !" In my head i was like thinking , "Omg please stop it ..." as well as "Go Baby go ! You can beat him ! You can defeat a rhino !" Then that man kept saying "what" . He "what" like 5 times lor ! No balls people no words to say . And his woman also ! Useless one sehy ! She only know how to say "leng jing lah" . WTF ! I grabbed B and told him to stop it . Then they finally stopped . I hugged baby real tight to prevent that fat ass from touching B . I wanted to actually squeeze inbetween them and give that man a lecture . "Excuse me , UNCLE . Since you're older than me , i have to greet you by calling you , UNCLE . Please , if we want to push you , we will push harder . Why push so light ? No impact at all one ... and hor , if we push you , we , students , will of course admit it . Cause our school taught us to have integrity . You know 'gan zuo gan dang' ? If you failed your chinese in school , let me be nice and tell you the meaning in simple english . It means dare to do , dare to admit . And UNCLE , as you can see with your own eyes , this train , must have more than a thousand people . It is very crowded so it's common for us to have physical contact . Just a light brush or a light tap will confirm occur . You can't expect me to shout MOLEST when a random man behind me accidentally touch me right ? So many people around you also stood very closely to you and why did you pick a student to fight with ? Come on . You can find our school if you want . The train stop only we move back . It's common sense . Never learn gravity uncle ? It's in science . Go read up on it if you don't want your life to end up like Darren Ng . My boyfriend here is like , half your size . You take up more space already very advantage le . What more do you want ? You don't enjoy being squeeze can get out and take the next train . We are passengers as well . We paid for the ride not to listen to you crap . Not happy ? Take next train . It's a public facility anyway , not yours . So UNCLE , next time , get a car to enjoy a better future . And please teach YOUR WOMAN to have more guts . Teach her to control you . My boyfriend and i don't wanna waste any saliva talking to you . Thank you for your patience in listening to a year 2 student teaching an adult public manners . AND FUCK OFF !!! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU SPITTING YOUR BACTERIA AND DNA ON MY MAN ! I DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE ANYTHING RELATED TO A TOTALLY ILL-MANNERED PERSON . LIKE YOU !" Wow ~ I feel so great now . AHAHAHAHAHAHA ! Shiok . Then when he left the train , he said , "SIAM LAH" then some chinese woman stared at him cause it was really loud like talking to everyone . Hahaha . When he got out , he stood outside and stared at Jet for damn long . I don't mind eating eyeballs for past-halloween-dinner (: No life sia ! I'd rather watch elephants than rhinos . Ewwww ~ Reached YCK Mrt then Christine's mum came pick her . While Baby and i took different bus to go home . I love you baby ! And Christine of course (: Hahaha goodnight and sweetdreams ! Loved . |
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